How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
Amen to this
I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.
Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
Dear [insert URL here],
I need time to slow down because as much as I thought I was ready to start anew somewhere else I have just begun realizing that I’ve done nothing to prepare myself to do so.
I feel as if I haven’t bothered to work on myself or start bettering myself. Instead, I’ve been sitting around and waiting for my moods and everything to sort itself out, and now I have just two short weeks before I start the beginning phase of moving out for college - leading towards getting my own apartment.
To be quite honest, I’m not sure if I can handle it.
I’m not sure I’m ready to leave.
It’s natural, I’m going to miss my mom and my niece. My brother and even my father, as hard as that sounds. I know they can visit and it’ll be an adjustment. I know this isn’t forever and I always have a home to go back to.
It just sucks that I’m starting anew and have nothing and no one to bring with me. I was so close to being able to bring Madeline to Rochester with me and then all of that fell apart. So I’m going alone. I’m starting a new job that I’m not familiar with, I’m at an entirely new school and it’s all different. And I’m excited, but I’m overwhelmed and everything is changing.
This time last year I was still in a relationship with someone I intended to marry, and was just slowly figuring out what I wanted to do when I graduated college. I felt like I had some kind of control and stability. Now I just feel like I’m flopping around everywhere.
All of this is frightening.